January 18

I went to Cash & Carry for the first time today. I am in love and will be going back.

On the trip home (after getting unlost from that weird Americana/Shoreline area of Boise) I had an impromptu BSB concert in my car, singing some of the oldie-oldies from their European albums...I remember how hard I had to look at every music store to find them. This was before the Internet, Amazon, and eBay. I cherished those things. I also realized most of my brain mass is probably wasted retaining old BSB song lyrics because I remembered all of them! Even the ones I don't remember remembering. I came home and decided to find the Coming Home video on Youtube. I LOVED that concert video and watched it so much I probably wore out the VHS. Then I decided to watch the Black & Blue concert that I went to in 2001. I wish I could find it on DVD, I don't remember a lot about it just that it was the best day of my 16-years.

I didn't have a horrible childhood, but it wasn't super fantastic, either. I was kind of a depressed kid with everything that was going on with my family, not having a lot of friends, and being poor. I really started to reminisce and also reflect back on how much being able to focus on a bunch of silly love songs and dance hits from a group of five people I'd never met before, yet felt like they were my best friends. I even remember a fantasy that they would show up in a limo on my first day of high school and take me away to hang out with them. When that didn't actually happen, I was devastated and actually had to stay home from my second day of high school.

From the summer of 6th grade through my second year of college, those boys and their music kept me going and focused and gave me a happy place, even when the world wasn't such a happy place.

I'm forever thankful for that.

Also grateful that my car has great acoustics and it makes me sound like I have amazing range and vocal abilities.